Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Do You Have Pearls in Your Life?

I have been thinking a lot lately.  I have been questioning what I believe and why I believe what I believe. 

We have been through a lot in our lives, as a family.  Me, I have been through a lot.  I have not shared my past with many people, but those closest to me know what has gone on while growing up.  It has not always been fun.

I grew up in a Christian home.  I grew up with Christian values and morals taught to me.  I grew up in church, literally.  Every Sunday morning, evening, Wednesday evening, Friday evening.  The occasional Saturdays were taken up with church events too.

I was not the greatest Christian growing up.  I backslid.  I did my own thing.  I had to, I see now that if I had just continued following and meeting the expectations of those around me, I would not have become the woman I am today. 

I am starting to like myself more and more.  It has been a process, and it is still in progress.  But I can now say it: I like me!!

As a mother, with 5 kids on earth, 1 with special needs and 1 in Heaven, I could make the choice to become bitter and angry at the fact that I have been dealt this hand.  Why should I be the one to have to raise a child who has so many unknowns.  Why did I have to pick a casket, a plot, a stone and bury a child?  Why? Why? Why? 

You know, I have had my moments where I have been angry at God.  I have screamed at Him.  I have tried to walk away from Him.  I have questioned Him. 

This is what has always come back to me during these times:

Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

I believe that we live in a fallen world.  No matter how hard we pray, or how many people are praying for us, sometimes bad things are just going to happen.  I also believe in miracles. I believe that we have seen many miracles in our house.  I believe that nothing is a mistake.

I have friends who have a good enough relationship to ask me about some things in my life.  I appreciate them and the questions.  It makes me re-evaluate where I stand and why I stand here.  If you are not looking at and evaluating why you believe what you will become stagnant.

Faith had another big seizure last night.  Neither of us were home for it.  Keri and her cousin had to deal with it.  They did amazing.  I am so proud of my daughter, that she has learned how to respond in an emergency.

Do I think that God is done with the miracles for Faith?  Am I comfortable where we are now?  Am I tired of fighting and praying for Faith that I am done?  Sometimes I think like that.  I have moments where I think...she is alive, this is what we prayed for.  She is strong and has an amazing will to live.  We prayed for that too.  Our prayers have been answered. 

Have we given up?  Do we think that God has done enough for us?  No...We pray for Faith on a regular basis.  Every meal time, there are at least 3 prayers for her seizures to stop.  People in church pray for her on a regular basis.  She is not only ours.  Other people pray for her on a regular basis.  Is God ignoring these prayers?  Are we not focusing our faith enough?  Why is she still having seizures?  We do think about this all the time.  And even moreso when she has had a big one.

That is when Romans 8:28 comes back into play.  And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

We need to trust God.  We need to love God.  We need to continue in our relationship with God. 

When Angel died, it was definitely one of the hardest things we have ever faced.  Her death had nothing to do with our sin or our fathers sins, we were not neglectful to cause the death.  We live in a fallen world.  That sucks.  But...

Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Angel gave us the determination to build a stronger relationship together, between my husband and myself.  Angel taught us to live for the moment, without losing sight of the future.  Angel taught us that God can turn anything around for good.  I have had the opportunity to comfort others.  I have been blessed to share others hearts and to share mine with others.  Angel has made a difference in a lot of lives. 

Including Faiths.  Had we not trusted God - we would never have fought so hard for Faith.  We would never have known or seen God's hand in her and our lives.

Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Everything, good or bad, in this fallen world we live in, God works together for good. We will never know or are meant to have all the answers. We continue to stand firm in our faith and in our relationship with God and find the good THROUGH ALL circumstances.

Do you know how a pearl is made?

Natural Pearls

Natural pearls are formed when a type of microscopic irritant makes its way into the mussel or oyster accidentally and settles inside the shell.The irritant can be a particle of food, a piece of shell, bacteria or even a sand granule. The protective process begins when mussel or oyster secretes nacre that covers the irritant. The nacre is continuously secreted, which keeps forming layers over the irritant. This results in the formation of a pearl. This process takes years before a pearl is formed.
If it weren't for the irritant.  If it weren't for the trial.  If...

Without the trials in life and the covering that we put over top.  The layers of prayer, the layers of love, the layers of tears, the layers of trust, we would never have that gem at the end.  We would never have pearls in our lives.  Yes, the irritant can be irritating...sometimes unbearable.  But there is a bigger picture.  There is God!



  1. very timely for me. Yes, I have pearls. And yes, there is GOD! Thanks for this post, Ruth!

  2. it's a great reminder!

    I often go through old blog posts to help me thru the tougher times in life.