What Scares You?

Thursday night, Pete and I made a comment about how Faith was a little off.  We didn't know what it was, but we both agreed that we felt like she was going to have a seizure.  I often have this feeling before a seizure, it is my mommy radar/God feeling.  I know it well, and I am almost always right on with it.

About 12:39am, I started to feel Faiths leg twitching, and when I looked over, she was in a full seizure.  I'm talking, big, full body, face, drooling etc.  It had been almost 10 minutes, so we found the Lorazepam (Ativan) and I administered it rectally, because that usually stops the seizure immediately.

Well, the seizure stopped for about 2 minutes, then she went right back in.  She was snoring and her eyes were open and were twitching.  We waited a few more minutes, then decided we needed to call 911, instead of administering another ativan.  

The abulance arrived and things did not go as they usually do.  The medics came in and scooped her up immediately, and went straight to the ambulance with her.  They called another ambulance and the next 2 medics went into the ambulance, so there were 4 people working on her.  It was kind of surreal, as parents, to be standing on the side of the road...not knowing what was going on, watching the busyness going on inside the ambulance. 

After about 10 minutes I was allowed in, without them really saying anything about what was going on, and we headed to the hospital.  They even cut her shirt off!! (Which was one of her big sisters shirts...oh well!!)

She was having random movements, was hooked up to the ekg machine, had an iv in her arm and had been given a shot of Medazalam (another sedative), had an oxygen mask on and were suctioning her secretions on and off all the way there.  We arrived at the hospital to 11 professionals meeting us in our room.  The doctor, 4 nurses and 6 paramedics. 

It never happens like this. 

We were told the seizure lasted a total of approximately 35 minutes, and it was a few minutes after they administered the medazalam before the seizure stopped. 

They did a catheter urine sample, more bloodwork, an xray, and monitored her vitals for the next 3 hours.  She was being watched for another seizure.

The tests all came back normal, and the doctor said we could leave as soon as she woke up and was able to walk around a bit.  So, after she was unhooked from everything we started trying to walk again.  She was still so sedated and was favouring her right side...but after a few tries, she was able to walk a short distance.  The nurse brought her some orange juice, and Faith had some, but threw up afterwards.  We were finally allowed to leave by 4:45am.

All the time I sat there, watching her breathe, watching her eye movements, watching the monitor...I couldn't help but thinking about SUDEP.  Sudden Unexplained Death in Epilepsy.  With Faiths sleep issues, and the suggestions from the doctor recently, about getting her to sleep in her own room, really had me thinking this time.  If she were in her own room, would we have gone up in the morning to find her dead?  The seizure took 1 mild sedative and 1 major (injected) sedative.  Would it have stopped for her, on its own?  I know this is not the case, as she is fine now, but what if?

Standing outside the ambulance, we wondered if she was going to be ok.  I wondered if she was going to make it through this one...The constant fear of SUDEP has kind of kicked into gear for me.  I couldn't imagine our lives without her.  All the struggles we go through are minimal, compared to the joy she brings to us all. 

So, while I know that we are not supposed to have fear, I don't know how any parent, can not worry about this possibility.  And no, sleep training is not going to be happening anytime soon.  How could we live knowing that we are unaware of a seizure?

What scares you?

Wordless Wednesday: Happy Valentines Day (LINKY)

Sleep, sleep, where art thou?

Yesterday was our follow up appointment at Sick Kids for the sleep study that Faith had.

We have really struggled with this issue for the past 3.5 years, and it is time that we figure something out.

With 5 kids, we have done our fair share of sleep training.  We have had sleep issues with a few of them and have been able to overcome them.

With Faith, things are always a little more complicated.  We are learning this the hard way.

Faiths sleep has always been broken, she will fall asleep around 8:30 (with the help of melatonin) and then will wake every 3-4 hours after that.  For the whole night. 

She will "knead" us all night, leaving us with bruises in the morning, and tired. 

We left here at noon, and took the subway.  Faith was so excited to see the subway and sat in a seat watching out the window. 

We got to the appointment 10 minutes early, and went to the waiting room.  We were there almost an hour, and were finally called back.  We have learned that hospitals have their own timing system, so it wasn't a big deal.  When the nurse practitioner came in, she told us that the developmental pediatrician we were supposed to be meeting with, was going to be leaving at 4, and wasn't going to be able to see us.

Talk about frustrating.  All that way, time off work, I didn't take a shift...all to NOT see the doctor we came to see.  I got upset and cried...because it is a long day...and for nothing.  Plus, I was excited to finally get some answers to help us work through these sleep issues.  The nurse felt really bad, and tried to make it better.  She talked about what we have tried, and then asked us a bunch of questions, that were related to the family.

She also said that part of their multi-disciplinary team was a neurologist who wrote a book about sleep issues and how to deal with them.  She wondered if we would like to meet with her.  I figured, instead of writing the whole trip off, we may as well meet with someone who knows what they are talking about. 

We waited another half hour.  It was now 4:30 (it was originally a 2:30 appointment).  She came in and asked how far back Faith was delayed.  I said in October she was assessed at 1 year 10 months.  She has come a long way since then, but is still significantly delayed.

She then told us that people with developmental delays, almost always, have sleep issues.  Then to add epilepsy to the delay makes it even worse.  Faith's brain probably spikes and drops all night long, as is seen in other patients with epilepsy, and while they are not seizures, it inhibits her ability to sleep.  So basically, we are screwed...

Then she said, that Faiths cognition seemed good enough, that she could very well grasp the sleep training, and we should try the method she suggested.

So, here is what we are preparing to do. 

Faith's bedroom has to become like a crib.  She is too old for a crib, so this is the next best thing.  Her entire room will need to be stripped.  No furniture, no toys, no stimulation.  Just a mattress on the floor.  We need to put a peep hole in the door, so we can watch her and check on her. 

Then, we put her to bed and basically do the Ferber method...again.  I told them we had done that before and I felt like we needed a priest because she sounded possessed. But, this is the method. 

We let her cry for 2 minutes.  Then we go in and say "it's bedtime" and wait 4 minutes, then 6 minutes after that.  We do that until she falls asleep, every 6 minutes.  The next night we do 4 minutes, then 6 minutes, then 8 minutes.  On and on...

If this doesn't work after 2-3 weeks, then we can try sleeping in her room with her.  For the whole night.  To show her that this is her bed, and this is where she should sleep.  Then back to the method again.

If it still doesn't work, then we can give her clonazapam.  It is a mild medication which will help her to sleep, but it won't help to train her.  That is the last resort.

If none of this works, then she wants us to call her in 6 months and we will meet with her again. 

We are also getting a referral to a pediatrician who works in the developmental area, in our city.

I am not sure if I am thrilled with this appointment...or still upset that we showed up and were brushed off.

But, we have some ideas and we will see how it goes. 

Camp Memories Blog Hop

I spent years and years going to summer camps.  As a parent now, I understand why my parents would sign us up for all these weeks...sanity time for them!! 

I started going to summer camp when I was 7 years old.  I remember being a little nervous, but more excited then anything. 

Now, as an adult, I have many fond memories and relationships from the years that I spent in cabins, and dorms.  Some memories are amazing, others I just want to forget.

The best memory that I have is when we were staying in some cabins, a few of us girls decided to play some pranks on the boys...cause that is what summer camp is all about, right?  Pranks?

We saran wrapped the toilet seats, we unscrewed the shower heads and put lifesavers inside them (so it would be sticky when the water came out), we rubbed soap all over the boys bridge (which in hindsight was EXTREMELY dangerous;-) and I could probably go on with more...

While we were in the bathroom, that night, we had no idea that someone had sneaked up outside.  We were giggling and running out of the bathroom, back to our beds, when ALL OF A SUDDEN...someone jumped out of the garbage can!!!

We screamed!  I can remember it like it was yesterday;-)  The camp director decided to prank us...I know I nearly had a heart attack, at the age of 12 (or so).

The relationships that were made at these camps were so important at the time, and I didn't know then, that I would still be friends with many of these people today. More then 20 years later (man, I'm getting old!).


This was one of mine and Keri's styles;-)
The Bandana and side ponytail...
I don't know what we were thinking...lol

One very important relationship I gained was at a performing arts camp.  This girl quickly became one of my best friends.  We would get our parents to drive the hour or so each way, just so we could see each other.  We would send mail - actual letters, with stamps on them - to each other.  Many times we would make cassette tapes (yes, I said cassette) for the other one with us talking to them, or taping our favourite songs from the radio.

We ended up doing something really dumb together, and it landed us in a LOT of hot water.  But when you are a teen, you don't think before you act.  This situation pretty much separated us and I never forgot her.  I had heard a few years later that she had died in a car accident.  I was devastated.

It is a sad story, I am aware of that, but I wanted to show the impact of a camp friendship on my life.  My daughter is named after her.  Keri is 13 years old now and knows who she is named after.  We still talk about my friend Keri and how much that friendship meant to me.  I would have never met her if we had not gone to the same camp.

Now, my kids are getting to the age where they are able to go, and we have sent the oldest 3 to various camps.  I think the experience is so important for kids.  They get to take some time away from their lives and learn more about others, about other parts of our province, or even country, and they get to build potentially lasting relationships. 

I am so thankful that I was able to be a part of so many different camps as a kid, they really helped to shape me into who I am today.

I'm participating in the Our Kids Camp Expo Blog Hop. Yesterday's Camp Memory can be found at Toronto Teacher Mom  Tomorrow, the fun is happening at Help We've Got Kids

Join the conversation!

Twitter: hasthtag #campmemories.

Facebook: www.facebook.com/ourkidsnet

Looking for a March Break or Summer Camp for your child?

Don’t miss Canada's Largest Camp Expo!

February 26, 2012, 12:00 to 4:00pm, Roy Thomson Hall, 60 Simcoe Street, Toronto

• Find top March Break, Summer and Holiday Camps for kids and teens

• Attend free information seminars to help you choose and prepare for camp

• Learn about charities, discounts, bursaries and tax credits for camp.

Register for FREE admission and the chance to WIN $500 towards exhibiting camps: www.ourkids.net/campexpo

Watch for the two upcoming twitter parties:

February 5th and February 22nd at 9 pm est

PS: On a side note, I smiled and laughed out loud while typing up this blog:-D

Not So Wordless Wednesday - Getting Healthy

This was me last night.  I have had a bit of a cold and it has gone into my chest.  I went up to the hospital to have a chest xray, so we could rule out pneumonia, and while I was there, I was reminded about my health issues from this past December.

When I went in my blood pressure was high in triage.  It was around 131/94.  I have been higher then that, but I know that bottom number doesn't normally get over 90.  I had no fever, my heart rate was a bit fast and my oxygen was normal.

I waited for a bit in the general area, for my name to be called.  They instead, after about an hour and a half, pulled me into the minor treatment area.  This is the area that is set aside for breaks and stitches, and we know that area quite well (oh and swallowed pennies;-)

The nurse said I would get through there quicker.  So, a little confused, off I went. 

I was so thankful for my bff Cheryl to have come with me.  We played Lingo for most of the wait, on her new phone!  It really killed the wait time and made it kinda fun;-)

The nurse came in the room right away and started checking me over.  She asked me questions like I have never been asked before.  What is the pain in my chest like, and I feeling any stroke symptoms, do I have a headache, if I had been referred to a secondary stroke clinic, if I was taking my aspirin (which I can't for the life of me remember...)

Then another nurse popped in and said that she was getting the EKG machine for room 7.  I had no idea what room I was, but soon found out I was 7.

I had to have an EKG because my heart rate was very fast and there was no fever to explain that.  My blood pressure was again slightly elevated.  (not too much, but similar to the first number).

She said that, because of the mini-stroke in December, they need to make sure that everything is ok.  I said that I had just come in for a chest xray because of the cough.  She said they needed to be sure and rule other things out.

It opened my eyes, yet again.  This is my life now.  Because of what has happened in the last month, I am more prone to a secondary stroke now. 

The doctor came in and basically said that since I wasn't at high risk for certain things, the bronchitis (which is what I have) will run it's course.  He said take some time off work, rest and if it gets worse they will prescribe a medication for me.

I am glad it was nothing serious.

I have entered this contest on Facebook, to win a year of a gym membership, a year of a dieticians services and and iPad2 filled with health apps and programs. 

So far, I am doing great for votes (currently in first place) and am so thankful to everyone who has taken the time to vote and share.  The contest ends at the end of March, I believe and I would love to stay on top.

If you are Canadian (I know most of my readers are) and over 19, would you take the time to go and give me a quick vote?  It can be done daily and you have an opportunity to win a prize as well!!

Best Life Rewarded Facebook Contest

Thank you so much for your support as I try to make some needed changes in my life.  The accountability will be wonderful and learning what I need to cut out of my diet to prevent another mini stroke, or even a full stroke, would make such a difference in my life!! 



This is the whole picture that was cropped wrong in my entry...



$300 Paypal Cash For Valentines Day? Cupid's Cash is Here!!

Welcome to the Cupid's Cash Giveaway Event!

Kidsumers and Sober Julie Doing Life have partnered up with lots of different and wonderful bloggers to bring you a fabulous prize, just in time for the Valentines Day!

The prize is $300 USD in Paypal Cash!!!

Giveaway starts February 1st at 12:01 AM EST to February 14th at 12:01 AM EST. Giveaway winners will be announced through the Rafflecopter widget and notified by email by the end of the day on February 17th, 2011. Winners must reply to email notification within 48 hours of delivery, or a new winner will be chosen.

Participating Blogs:

Sober Julie Doing Life

Kidsumers

Nugglemama's Handful

Funny Things Are Everywhere

Between The Kids

Elegantly Said

Shopping in Your Pjs

My Little Review Corner

The Jolly Blogger

A Hen's Nest

Nolie's Place

Wisconsin Mommy

Raising My Boys

Humble Pie

Tara's View of the World

My Secret Home

Shasher's Life

My Organized Chaos

Maple Leaf Mommy

Mommy Moment

Smookie Style

Thriftymommastips

Mohanalakshmi Rajakumar

Rants Reviews

Pixie Deals

Noteworthy

Country Mouse, City Mouse

Mommies Point of View

Bewildered Bug

Canadian Coupon Mom

My Big Blue World

The Momma Stuff Blog

Number Crunching Momma

Family Tales Not Ties

Mom's Musings

*This giveaway is open to Worldwide entries

*There will be 1 winner chosen to win this giveaway

GIVEAWAY ENDS TUESDAY FEBRUARY 14TH AT 12:01 AM EST

GOOD LUCK!!!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

How I Found My Bliss

I entered this submission to a challenge that had been put out by Canadian Family at Blissdom Canada.  I was not chosen as one of the finalist (but my friends Sober Julie and Nerina was, go and give them a vote!) and now I can actually post my article here.  I really wanted to share it with my readers, but wanted to wait until the finalists were chosen before posting it here.  So, here it is!!

Bliss. This word can mean so many things, to different people. I have asked myself if I’ve found my bliss and the initial response was no. After the last few weeks I realized that I HAVE indeed found my bliss, and I continue finding it every day.


The only thing is, I can’t really explain it.

When I think about my life, and how some bliss would fit in, I have a hard time seeing it. My family has been through a lot of tough times. Everyone has tough times. I have learned that how you handle struggles and trials in life, will determine when or if you ever find your bliss.

We have buried one daughter who was stillborn, we have almost buried another daughter. We are living with this miracle girl, right now, who amazes us every day. But. Yes, I said it. BUT. We have our share of struggles with her. Finding the good when we are dealing with her behavioural issues is hard. Seeing the silver lining, when holding her through a seizure is not easy. Some days it is hard to see past it all. I find it difficult to be thankful for the life that I have.

THEN. Then I see my older kids, from the 16 year old to the 6 year old, take such pride in knowing that they can help us through these times. I see the older ones taking the younger ones under their wings and caring for them in a way that they never would have before our lives were blessed with our youngest daughter. And that is when I realize that, for me, bliss is not having the big home or the perfect job. It is not about being the best dressed or the popular one. It is about my family.

The craziness that takes over our lives, the busyness that I say I can’t handle, that is my bliss! I meant it when I said it was hard to explain.

My marriage has not been perfect, but it has been real. We have fought through the storms and the love is still there. Our kids are phenomenal. They have learned compassion, empathy, and that the world doesn’t revolve around them. Inclusion is a regular word in our house. Our kids become friends with those who others turn away, and they come home proud to stand out! When our 10 year old has been bullied, she has given back kind words and smiles. We, as a family, have grown leaps and bounds! I wouldn’t want to change any part of our journey, good or bad.

Four years ago, when our miracle entered our lives, we all became different people. I became that mother, who, at one point, I felt sorry for. I became the mother who other mothers judge when their child is acting out. I became her. It opened my eyes, and my heart. If it weren’t for this “trial”, rather, if it weren’t for this miracle in my life I would have never grown into the mother I have become.

While I feel that I have found my bliss, I remind myself that I should NEVER stop looking. Every new trial, new struggle, or new mountain brings me back, wondering where my bliss has disappeared to. I need to remember that I will never “arrive”, I will never have all the answers and I don’t want them. I want to live, and learn and grow! I want my bliss to change, and not become stagnant.

I want to be inspirational to others. To those who are struggling. I want them to see that if they just find that hidden glimmer of hope, that life can go on. I want others to look at me and see that I am real, honest and genuine. I cry, I laugh, I question. Part of my bliss is knowing that when other people see how I handle obstacles, it will be the light that they need to grow and learn. People who have walked this path before me have inspired me, and this is my turn to give back.

This is my bliss. This is my legacy. BLISS = BLESSED.

Disney Treasure Buddies with Giveaway!!

I don't know about your family, but I know that MY family absolutely LOVES the Buddies series of movies. 

We have been watching them, right from Air Bud, to Space Buddies and all the others.  I think secretly my kids would love to have a talking dog who can play sports and go into space!!

It would be kind of cool;-)

Well, the new Treasure Buddies movie is heading to stores on January 31st and I know that my kids will be bugging me to see it.

Synopsis:

Disney’s talking canine superstars are back in “Treasure Buddies,” their 6th all-new adventure.

This latest story is told from the perspective of the Buddies’ newest friend, a mischievous Egyptian monkey named Babi. As Babi tells us, more than 40 years ago a young archeologist named Thomas Howard, travelled to Egypt with his dog Digger to search for the lost necklace of Cleocatra. They managed to discover half of an artifact, the Bronze of Bastet, but their find triggered a booby-trapped cave-in, which they barely escaped. Forty years later, Thomas is living in Fernfield where he manages a museum. Digger’s grandpups, Rosebud, B-Dawg, Budderball, Buddha and Mudbud also live in Fernfield and, in fact, Mudbud belongs to Thomas’ grandson, Pete. 

Thomas is about to close his museum due to lack of funding when he gets a visit from a mysterious stranger, Dr. Philip Wellington, who reveals the other half of the Bronze of Bastet and invites Thomas and Pete to accompany him back to Egypt to resume the quest for the legendary Cat’s Eye Jewel. Pete offers to bring Mudbud along but Wellington refuses as he travels with Ubasti, a hairless cat who is allergic to dogs. When Mudbud learns that Ubasti plans to steal the necklace for herself and use its power to dominate both dogs and humans, he rallies the other Buddies to stow away on the private plane in order to overtake the expedition and thwart Ubasti’s plan.

Once they get to Egypt, danger lurks around every secret sphinx, cryptic crypt and puzzling pyramid. With help from lovable new friends including Cammy, a baby camel and the clever Babi, the Buddies avoid booby traps, solve puzzles and explore a mysterious tomb in their most exciting and challenging adventure yet. 

“Treasure Buddies” stars Ty Panitz (“Spooky Buddies,” “How to Eat Fried Worms”), G. Hannelius (“Space Buddies,” “Snow Buddies”), Skyler Gisondo (“Santa Buddies,” “Spooky Buddies”), Tucker Albrizzi (“Spooky Buddies,” “Bridesmaids”), Charles Henry Wyson (“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”), Richard Riehle (“The Search for Santa Paws”), Edward Herrmann (TV’s “Gilmore Girls”), Mason Cook (“Spy Kids: All the Time in the World”), Adam Alexi-Malle (“Hidalgo”), Mo Gallini (TV’s “24”), Christopher Maleki (TV’s “Passions”), Maulik Pancholy (TV’s “30 Rock”), Ryan Stiles (TV’s “Two and a Half Men”), Tim Conway (TV’s “Spongebob Squarepants”), Elaine Hendrix (“The Parent Trap”), Kaitlyn Maher (“The Search for Santa Paws”) and Aiden Gemme.  Directed by Robert Vince, written and produced by Vince and Anna McRoberts. Original music is by Brahm Wenger (“The Search for Santa Paws”) and Animal Coordinator is Mark Forbes (“Zoo Keeper”).

I have 3 TREASURE BUDDIES Blu-Ray Combo Packs to giveaway on my blog!!!

This giveaway is open to Canadians (with the exception of Quebec - not my rules!!)

Giveaway closes February 3 at 11:59pm EST

Don't forget to leave your email address in your comments so I can contact you if you win...

MANDATORY ENTRIES:

Tell me who in your family would love to see this movie the most
Tell me what your favourite "Buddies" movie is
Tell me who your favourite "Buddy" is

EXTRA ENTRIES:

Leave comments for each item you complete

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Disclaimer: I was contacted to host this giveaway on my blog.  All opinions are my own.

Equal Rollback at Walmart

Collective Bias sent me on a shop to my local Walmart to buy the Equal canister which is selling for a rollback price of just $7.97!

We have had a crazy few days, lately, but I finally made it today, with Faith as my shopping partner...

So, off we headed. I went straight to the grocery section, thinking it would be with the other baking and sugar items. Well, we looked and we looked, and we had no luck!! I checked out the flyer and didn’t see it advertised. I was beginning to wonder if our Walmart actually sold Equal...

I thought, they must, so I headed to the other section I thought it could have been in, the pharmacy. So, we made our way over there. Sure enough, it was on the shelf there.

There were a few other similar products in that section too. I am not sure why it would be in a separate area, but I was glad to have found it. The yellow canister didn’t stand out too much for me. It was mixed around a bunch of other products that were yellow too. I did have to look closely to find it.

Faith loved carrying it for me! She has to be in the middle of everything you know.

These canisters are great for those who use Equal and like to bake. There are a pile of recipes on the Equal website. I, personally, have never baked with a sweetener, but this Chocolate Chip Cookies recipe sounds delish!! I will have to try that one out some day!

If you want to learn more about #EqualCanada and their products, you can contact Equal Canada on Twitter, or Equal Canada on Facebook too

“This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias. #CBias All opinions are my own.