Wednesday, October 12, 2011

"Inclusion is an umbrella that keeps us dry when the downpours of life occur."

 Title quote by Linda S. Wallace

I want to learn how to bring inclusion to my family and the others around me...this post is a stepping stone for a community conversation!!  This is a new road that I am walking and I am just admitting it now. 

As you may have read, this summer was a very long, hard summer for us.  One of the things that we realized we are facing is the fact that with Faith getting older, our lives have become very different.

Inclusion has been a word that we have been learning about, first hand.  We missed out and continue to miss out on a lot of things because Faith just doesn't fit the mold...

She is loud, uninhibited, can't sit still, very fast and has scared the crap out of us a million and one times this summer...and even now.  And yet, she is the most loving child, has the best hugs and smiles with her eyes...

She has run away, she has attempted to climb out windows, she has drawn blood from every family member, we have watched her rages take over her and have sat in awe at what a person this little can do.

One part of me wants to just sit in the house and hide away with her, but another part of me misses the fun times that I used to have when we would get together with friends.

Now, our life consists of having to put up a filter for all situations.  We need to decide what we can do (read what Faith can handle) and what we can't do (when we don't have a sitter).

My older kids have been phenomenal, they have stepped in and watched Faith when needed, but there have also been some issues when they have watched her.  I could never live with myself if something had of happened to Faith when my daughter was watching her, and Faith was out of the house at the end of the street...

My daughters guilt would have killed her, and me in the process. 

Faith just doesn't know any better...and this is what is hard for me.  I want to be able to treat her as a typical child would be treated, but I am realizing that it is almost impossible. 

She can't sit through anything unless she has someone with her all the time.  Sunday school has even been a struggle and we have questioned why we continue going.  We miss out on our stuff, we miss out on our time, because Faith cannot sit through a class...

The worst part is that I am the one heading up Sunday School right now...and I have no answers for myself!!  I have no idea how to make it an inclusive environment for her...

I have thought, many times, that we should just leave her with a sitter at home, while we go to church...but that really hurts my heart.  Then I have thought that maybe it just isn't worth doing these things, anything that would involve her "interrupting"...maybe we just shouldn't bother.

It has been hard to find people who are willing to help out.  I think some people are just scared of the unknown, and I get that.  I am not, and have not, expected people to do things for me, just because we have Faith.

But it also makes me feel lonely.

And I don't like that much...

Because it makes me see what Faith is going to have to deal with for the rest of her life and it just isn't fair.

How can I facilitate inclusion?  What are some things others have done?  I really need to figure this out so my child and my family don't become outcast from society!!!

Like I said, my heart is really hurting...


  1. Im going to share this. In doing that I am hoping that somehow you may be able to connect more people who are going through similar issues.
    Im sorry you are hurting and I wish there was something I could do to make it all better.

  2. Hi I really enjoy your blog and check in every once in a while. I am sorry you are struggling. I know that some families really resist suggestions like this, but have you seen a pediatric psychiatrist and tried her on behavior meds? i know that for some kids and families, this is very effective for keeping their child safe and more relaxed and happy. i know that there are side effects and it is a trial and error process. But being an RN and having worked with special needs kids and adults,i have seen great benefits for some.

  3. Oh Ruth, I'm so sorry that your heart is heavy, know that I'm praying. I don't have specific advice other than keep seeing your doctor but stopping bringing her to church should NVER be an option. Church is about community and we shoule all support each other. If it takes someone being designated to be with her each service than that's what it takes.

    By being open and asking for help I'm sure others will rally for you all.