I entered this submission to a challenge that had been put out by Canadian Family at Blissdom Canada. I was not chosen as one of the finalist (but my friends Sober Julie and Nerina was, go and give them a vote!) and now I can actually post my article here. I really wanted to share it with my readers, but wanted to wait until the finalists were chosen before posting it here. So, here it is!!
Bliss. This word can mean so many things, to different people. I have asked myself if I’ve found my bliss and the initial response was no. After the last few weeks I realized that I HAVE indeed found my bliss, and I continue finding it every day.
The only thing is, I can’t really explain it.
When I think about my life, and how some bliss would fit in, I have a hard time seeing it. My family has been through a lot of tough times. Everyone has tough times. I have learned that how you handle struggles and trials in life, will determine when or if you ever find your bliss.
We have buried one daughter who was stillborn, we have almost buried another daughter. We are living with this miracle girl, right now, who amazes us every day. But. Yes, I said it. BUT. We have our share of struggles with her. Finding the good when we are dealing with her behavioural issues is hard. Seeing the silver lining, when holding her through a seizure is not easy. Some days it is hard to see past it all. I find it difficult to be thankful for the life that I have.
THEN. Then I see my older kids, from the 16 year old to the 6 year old, take such pride in knowing that they can help us through these times. I see the older ones taking the younger ones under their wings and caring for them in a way that they never would have before our lives were blessed with our youngest daughter. And that is when I realize that, for me, bliss is not having the big home or the perfect job. It is not about being the best dressed or the popular one. It is about my family.
The craziness that takes over our lives, the busyness that I say I can’t handle, that is my bliss! I meant it when I said it was hard to explain.
My marriage has not been perfect, but it has been real. We have fought through the storms and the love is still there. Our kids are phenomenal. They have learned compassion, empathy, and that the world doesn’t revolve around them. Inclusion is a regular word in our house. Our kids become friends with those who others turn away, and they come home proud to stand out! When our 10 year old has been bullied, she has given back kind words and smiles. We, as a family, have grown leaps and bounds! I wouldn’t want to change any part of our journey, good or bad.
Four years ago, when our miracle entered our lives, we all became different people. I became that mother, who, at one point, I felt sorry for. I became the mother who other mothers judge when their child is acting out. I became her. It opened my eyes, and my heart. If it weren’t for this “trial”, rather, if it weren’t for this miracle in my life I would have never grown into the mother I have become.
While I feel that I have found my bliss, I remind myself that I should NEVER stop looking. Every new trial, new struggle, or new mountain brings me back, wondering where my bliss has disappeared to. I need to remember that I will never “arrive”, I will never have all the answers and I don’t want them. I want to live, and learn and grow! I want my bliss to change, and not become stagnant.
I want to be inspirational to others. To those who are struggling. I want them to see that if they just find that hidden glimmer of hope, that life can go on. I want others to look at me and see that I am real, honest and genuine. I cry, I laugh, I question. Part of my bliss is knowing that when other people see how I handle obstacles, it will be the light that they need to grow and learn. People who have walked this path before me have inspired me, and this is my turn to give back.
This is my bliss. This is my legacy. BLISS = BLESSED.