Saturday, June 02, 2012

Best Friends

I have a best friend.  Through my life I have had very few "best friends".  One passed away in a car accident, and the others, well, we just kind of grew up and ended up in different places.

As an adult, I found another amazing friend.  We had met when I was pregnant with Angel, then again after we lost her and I was pregnant with Grace.  She had her oldest a few months after Grace and we made a connection right away...

We have been nearly inseperable since.  We used to live really close to each other and would spend days at the park with the kids, we would hang out on Friday and Saturday nights with the whole family, spouses and all, and play cards and cook/bbq extravagant meals.  We would stay up late preparing for special Sunday school activities.  We were always together.

It has been 10 years.  A decade.  And I think that some people just don't understand what we have.  And really, I find that kind of sad, because every woman needs another woman to talk to, honestly, openly and without any worry of offense being taken.

We have that.

We have both been through the loss of a child.  We have both been through surgeries.  We have both been through supporting our spouses during surgeries.  We both have kids with special needs.  We have a lot in common.  She left a bad marriage 2 years ago, and pleaded with me to really think about my decision to separate.  She knew that the road was not going to be easy, and warned me ahead of time. 

I supported her, I listened to her, I questioned her, I was there for her when she needed me through her struggles, and now, with my situation, she is there for me.  She is supporting me, listening to me, questioning me and I know that she is there for me.  We have no judgement towards each other. We accept each other as we are...

There are times when it gets tiring though, when people who don't understand the kind of relationship we have, take it too far.  They think that if Cheryl is doing something then I must be too.  Or vice versa, if I am doing something then Cheryl must be too.  They expect us to always go out together...and not with anyone else. 

We have been lumped together as one person.  The reality is, we are two very VERY different people.  She enjoys some things that are EXTREMELY different then I would enjoy.  She is outgoing and loves going out, where I am more introverted and would rather hang out at home. 

We are both grown women.  We have our own minds.  We have our own decision makers.  We may talk to each other about things, and consult with each other.  We may not like what the other person is saying, or calling us out on...but we can accept that from each other.  We have been honest, transparent and real with each other.

I wouldn't change that for the world.  I am so glad that I have Cheryl in my life:-)


  1. Cherish that friendship, to me it's rare! I wish I had my best friends like I did in high school!

  2. You know what I like best about the two of you? You are not so wrapped up in each other that no one else feels included. I love hanging out with the two of you. Ruth, I have known you since we were little and even though we have had periods of separation, somehow we always reconnected. Through you, I have had the privilege of meeting and developing my own friendship with your bestie. I agree, she's a pretty great lady!