Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Adjusting to the changes in life...

...and accepting them, happily.

You know, I was never totally aware of the correlation between your house, or personal space, and your life. At many times, I have been told by people that they just don't get it, I am an organized person. I can help run a Sunday school, for years; I can organize and homeschool my kids, alongside doing daycare for others; I can help organize events and schedule out days and weeks at a time...yet, my house was always a mess. Now, it was never disgusting, we did clean, but we also lived, and I spend a lot of time with my kids (and the computer, cause this is an honest post;-)

So, on any given day, I would have a hard time letting people into my house, uninvited. It was embarassing...I am and have been very embarassed at the state of my house. I did not inherit the cleaning gene from my family sister did, and she actually enjoys cleaning!!

Now that we have been going through 8 years of 'stuff' that has piled up in my house, I am getting a whole new perspective. The clutter in my house did affect my life. My life has been cluttered as well. I hide that well...only some of my closest friends would know how 'cluttered' my life has been, because I really am not that open about things like that (ah, I don't invite people into cluttered messes...).

While going through this process, I have been noticing certain changes going on in me. They are not bad, I am not leaving my house, my family, my church...everyone is still stuck with me!! But these changes have been very welcome, though I am very emotional while trying to work through if you know me and I am happy one minute and have regressed the next...IT IS NOT YOU!!

I need me time. I know, it is not something that people generally get a lot of when they become parents, or spouses even. Is this called a mid-life crisis? Am I really that old? No, I can't be...

There was that change, with Princess going to school. It was the right thing to do, she is excelling there and really growing more and more. Now, Mr. Hockey has shown an interest in going to school. He says if he likes summer school, he would like to go to Grade 7. I was a bit leery at first, but have worked through that. Now, I am preparing a summer of teaching for him, so he is as close to grade level as possible...

The next big change is coming with Cutie Pie, and while she is a cutie pie for sure, I think that she may need more structure and options, you know the ones that come from we are discussing that now as well.

Do you see where these changes are coming from? Why my emotions are messed up? I have always homeschooled, I have always told people when they asked me, that we homeschool year by year and child by child. If this is a good year for homeschooling, then we will...if it is not, then we won't, if a particular child would do better somewhere else, then that is alright too. So, I am not upset that we are considering having our 3 older kids in school...I actually see a bright cloud there...more freedom for me!!

Where the problem lies, I think, is the idea that I have defined myself as a homeschool mom for so long now, along with other things that are changing too. By no longer homeschooling I am not a 'homeschool mom' anymore. Is that a bad thing? No. Is it the wrong thing for me to do? I don't think so. Is it going to be an adjustment for me? YES!!!

I will have Pooky, who will be 2 and a half (and hopefully toilet preschool) and the new baby in October/November...Life would be so different, but nice as well. I will have time to spend adjusting to the new baby, keeping my house clean...because I really like it this way! Helping with homework...finding new areas that I can be involved in, in my community and church...

Adjustment...Acceptance...all part of life and living...

There is way more to this then just this, but all I am sharing right now...


  1. You are going through a lot of changes and change, even when it's right, isn't always easy. I'm thinking of you - I know you'll come through, better than ever. That's what it's all about - growth.

    I can relate to you on the cluttered house. Mine is wrecked most of the time. If I have unexpected visitors, I am constantly apologizing for the mess. I like my home organized and try to keep it that way as much as I can, but I also live in my home and sometimes living is messy. I do need to work on finding a middle ground. Right now, I'm up to my ears in toys!

  2. Change is such a constant part of life. I don't know why it surpprises us. I'm going thru huge change too and I'm trying to focus on what is exciting and great and place it in God's hands. Especially the parts that I'm not confident in how to deal with. I think your new lifestyle is awesome and encouraging to me and all around.

  3. I totally relate to you about the whole keeping up my home. I love it clean and tidy and clutter free. I find it extremely difficult to keep it up and it is true- the state of my house is related somehow to how I am feeling internally.
    Ruth I am so proud of you for literally sacrificing years and years of yourself to training up your children. I really admire you for that. Vince and I have made the decision to put Kayla in the public school here (one of the best one's in Woodstock) and take responsibility for teaching her the Bible, character building, fruits of the spirit etc. at home.

  4. Change can be hard...but from knowing you, I believe this change is for the better and good things are going to come of it. I admire people that will look at their life and say..."This is not working" or "I don't enjoy what I'm doing" and make big adjustments to change that. It's hard especially when it deals with how we define ourselves...but I think you are going to come out the otherside realizing that you are more than just the homeschool mom. Not that being a homeshool mom is bad...only if you think that that is all you have to offer. Perhaps now is the time to stretch your wings in other area. Maybe I'm completely wrong...but some things I think of are...poetry (getting a book of poems published), writing, building relationship with neighbours (inviting someone over during the day for tea/coffee/chocolate milk and having the freedom to talk without the extra kids), quality time with the younger two, quality time with the older 3 (without the frustration of trying to teach them math), singing (just had to throw that one in).

    I think it's going to be a great change. Keep us updated.

  5. Back Again!

    I just wanted to say that I too defined my life by something I was really good at doing and it was very difficult letting go of that. Take this change as a positive one and embrace something new for yourself.