Thursday, April 28, 2011

UNDATING - Guest Post

Today my BFF is guest posting!!  We have been friends for almost 10 years!! We are planning a BFF anniversary party in December this year...LOL!!  Really it is just an excuse to celebrate.  I am so proud of her and how she has handled the challenges in her life.  She is someone that I look up to and strive to be like at times.  She probably doesn't realize how much of an impact she has on people, but she really does.  Cheryl you are amazing and I want to thank you for being my friend.  I couldn't imagine not having you as a part of my family's life.  You can find Cheryl blogging at Family Tales not Ties.  Please welcome Cheryl and leave some comment love here and visit her at her blog too!!
How many woman can say "aaaahhhh" with me, when I think of dating and the emotions that go with dating I say "AAHHHHH". 

I hate all the thoughts that come along with dating. 
  • Does he like me
  • Is he trustworthy
  • Why didn't he call or answer my text
How do you find someone these days too?
  • Online is becoming the way to meet people now, and with that you have to write a profile and have profile pics and my biggest fear is running into someone who has seen my profile online
Why is it so hard for some people to be alone? Sexual needs for some women create them to settle for the first guy that wants them but really all he wants is sex and the girl wants emotional intimacy. 

Alot of guys on chat rooms are married too.  Even on the Christian sites.

I'm happy alone most of the time, actually, it is getting easier to be secure in who I am and to know that God has a plan for me and for all of His children. I am trying to teach that to single, divorced, seperated, and never married women too.

What drives me nuts is when a guy seems into me and then nothing comes of it.  I have to remind myself that it doesn't matter and I don't need to go the extra mile to impress them either.

Or how about feeling like a teenager again and having hormones to control around certian guys that are friends.  Because I'm a Christian now the whole "friends with benefits" model is out.  It was easier when I was younger to get a man but definitely not healthier. 

I like having friends to hang with for sure but have to be careful that I don't cross the line or get put in situations that could become misleading.

Sometimes boundaries would be a good thing to have.  Knowing what the other expects from a relationship ahead of time and being understanding and respectful is important too.

I always state clearly on chat conversations that I am not interested in sex and that I am not looking to hook up for the night with them. So if we do meet for coffee or a date they know ahead of time that there will be nothing happening. Of course some guys will try to sway you and you just need to be firm.  I would stick to public places and always tell a friend you are going out, where you are going and with whom. 

You should be able to know from one coffee date if he or she is worthy of another date.

What frustrates me the most is when their is a connection and girls get their hopes up, or become instantly attached from one date.

Please don't be so desperate and give yourself away to each guy that talks to you. A relationship should be equal effort as well, not one person making all the effort to plan things and paying for it all too.

For all my Christian readers if you want a Christian man or woman look at their life and see if they have fruit in it, evidence of being a Christian. Go to their church with them and invite them to your church too. Don't believe because they say it.  PRAY ABOUT IT!! And make sure that whatever you are demanding from a relationship you are also living it.

I believe we can't do this dating thing in our own strength.

Settling because you are over 35 and have kids is not smart either.  It will usually end in more pain and not just for yourself, but for the kids too.

Women with daughters, they are watching closely and sons will have wives one day.  You want them to have an example of how to treat a spouse and how to pick a spouse.

I'm teaching my kids the UNDATING MODEL and that God has some one for them, specially chosen for them, and that if they follow God and listen they will meet that special person.

Thanks Ruth for alowing me to ramble on while you are enjoying a wonderful holiday.


  1. good advice Cheryl! I must admit I am so glad I don't have to do the dating thing anymore. I kind of dread having to watch my kids go through it. Yeesh.