Monday, January 18, 2010

Fun With Telemarketers

You know you love it when they call you!! I always look forward to my discussions with them...does that make me a sick person? Nah, some of my fun and creative ways to deal with them are:

Scenario #1 - The Window Companies - Would you like a free estimate for replacing your windows? My response - We don't own this place. You may say - ah, but you are lying!! In actuality, I don't own this place. We are co-owners with the bank...we miss a payment and it is taken away!! So, no lie there!!

Scenario #2 - The Internet/Phone/TV Companies (the one you are already with) - We are having a promotion for 3 months of free internet, then only 24.95 a month after that. My response - WOW!! What a great deal (said with that much enthusiasm!), I think it is a great promotion that you are going to cut my bill by that much for 3 generous of you!! The guy laughed and said that he needed to check his paperwork...caught on that I was already a customer, hung up fast!!

Scenario #3 - Charities calling for clothes donations - Would you have some clothes to donate? Our truck will be coming by on such a date? My response - Definitely!! What a great way to help a charity and clean out my house at the same time!! LOL...this is the only telemarketer that I like:-)

Scenario #4 - Anyone calling for Mr. or Mrs. Payton? My response - There is no one here by that name!! We are pronounced phonetically and if they don't know how to do that, I don't want to talk to them:-)

Scenario #5 - The Newspapers - We have a 3 month promotion on, would you like to subscribe? My response - We don't read the newspaper - Their response - How do you keep up with the news? My response - It is too depressing, we don't want to know anything about what is going on. Their response - silence:-)

A tip for telemarketers...when you answer the phone, only say hi one time...most of the companies systems wait for that second sound...

Other responses could include:
Can you hold on a minute? And leave the phone off the hook
Tell them you are on the toilet
Kids are crying
Ask them for their home phone number, when they ask why, tell them that you want to call them during their dinner
Ask them where they are calling from and what is the weather like

Most of all, don't be rude and have may be the nicest call of the day and it is their job!!


  1. I have my 4 year old answer the phone! :-)

  2. tonight, I got a call from a telemarketer at 9:15PM!! I've never ever ever had anyone call that late. I could barely understand him his accent was so thick, I had to get him to repeat himself. Then I said, "Are you serious? You're calling my house at 9:15pm?!" and repeated that a few times I'm sure... then I said, "How rude!" and hung up on him.

  3. i always ask them if they want to buy something from me or that they are my jobs competition and i can't because of my contract lol it works everytime

  4. You're too funny!
    If I don't hear anything in the first couple of seconds after I pick up...I usually hang up because I've learned that usually that means it's one of them.