Thursday, March 01, 2012
Digesting and Accepting and Trying to Move On?
And you know, the one thing that stuck with me from the appointment today, was something that I already knew. I know that Faith has a developmental delay. I know that Faith is about 2 years behind in a lot of her development. I know this. I have accepted it.
But the way it was explained today really hit home for me.
Faith is a 2 year old in a 4 year olds body. That is why her strength during a rage is so high. That is why I can barely restrain her when she is in that rage. She is 2, without the understanding of why she is having a tantrum...but her body acts it out like a 4 year old.
This also relates to sleep. Infants sleep all the time, toddlers sleep a lot, but don't need as much. Preschoolers need less then toddlers etc...So, Faith is a preschooler, she is 4 years old and her body doesn't need as much sleep as it used to.
BUT her brain is a 2 year old...which still needs a LOT more sleep then a 4 year old...but her body isn't going to.
The dr also said, actually reinforced with a long pause afterwards, that this is NOT all our fault. We need to stop blaming ourselves. We have a part in the sleep issues, but Faith has a brain injury and will always need to have things done differently.
This acceptance process is so much harder, and takes so much longer then I had ever, EVER expected...
All in all, it was a good appointment. We have to set up a very rigid bedtime routine, that we never waiver from. Weeknights, weekends, summer holidays etc...always the same.
That is what we are going to start with. Then we are going to talk with the neurologist in April about seizure detecting devices while sleeping. That will give us peace of mind. Plus we are waiting to be seen by the Psych clinic in London, for kids/people with brain injury resulting in behavioural issues.
I feel good after this appointment, but still feel kind of sad....The reality is, we don't know how much farther Faith is going to come. And I am always the optimist, seeing the best in every situation. And I am not limiting Faith after this appointment. But I am also going to be realistic with expectations for her. As a 2 year old. It will be less frustrating for all of us...
Digestion can hurt sometimes...