Missing In Action!!

A lot has been happening here lately.

I have started working, and going through all the various trainings for work. I also have quite a few shifts that I have been able to take, so I am looking forward to working and reaping the paycheck at the end!!

I have been in many appointments lately for Faith - 2.5/3 years old is apparently the age when everything gets reassessed...We have completed a behavioural plan and if you are one of the lucky ones in Faith's life, who cares for her on occasion, you will have the priveledge of learning it and implementing it when she is on your clock...conisitency!!

I have been working on a post that will be posted on my friends blog, and I should finish it tonight, seeing as she will be back from vacation sooner then later...

I also have been at the ER 2 times in the last month with Faith, who has been having seizures too often for our liking...3 times in a two week period is not something we are accustomed to. Two of them have required Ativan and lasted 10 minutes, one of them she vomitted 2 times after and one of them she seemed to forget how to breathe and turned purple...Yeah, life!!

I have signed up to do a blog tour/product review and I was accepted...I will be reviewing a great weight loss/maintenance product and will be having an amazing giveaway that 10 people can win...plus I applied for another cool Disney one...we will see if I get that one too!!

I am looking at taking another contract with the agency that I support a 12 year old who has autism. This is an adult, around my age...and she just wants to go out into the community more. I am excited about this great opportunity!!

We are hosting at least 1 Japanese student in a few weeks. And if this one goes well, then we will have a second one 4 days later. I am looking forward to this too, as it will kind of bring Japan here and the memories will be amazing, for both the student and us!

I am trying to get more online work done. Trying to spend a few hours a day to keep things caught up there...I have really slacked in this area and want to keep it going too.

I am also trying to coordinate Sunday school, in my spare time...and plan a VBS for August...I can't believe how quickly that time is coming!!

Throw into the mix looking after the kids, delivering Mr. H's papers (while he is in Romania), swimming and really wanting to take part in a partial triathlon...what am I thinking?

I told someone today, this is my life and it just wouldn't be the same without the organized chaos...on a bright note, my house is getting pretty clean, and that is nice for a change!!



Anyhow, my random update post, you haven't had one in a while!! Watch for the great product review and amazing giveaway coming up!!

Random thoughts....

Interesting thoughts rolling around in my brain...I tried to find this verse on my own and couldn't and late, very late last night, at ladies group we found it...

Here it is in a few different translations...I personally like the NASB version the best...it kind of explains a lot in simpler terms...cause I am a simple person!! LOL...

Isaiah 43:18-19

The Message
"Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history.Be alert, be present. I'm
about to do something brand-new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it?There it is! I'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands.

Amplified
18Do not [earnestly] remember the former things; neither consider the things of old. 19Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive and know it and will you
not give heed to it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

NLT
18 “But forget all that— it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. 19 For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the
wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.

NASB
18"Do not call to mind the former things, Or ponder things of the past. 19"Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert.

So, a few things that have been rolling around my brain...I have a memory problem...I don't tend to remember a lot of things from the past. I do, there are some that I just can't forget, I have gotten over a lot and I feel like I am a person to forgive, but I always thought it was forgive but never forget. I also find that I choose to not talk about a lot of the things in my past, whether they are good memories or bad memories.

I really have just had it on my heart that when you receive salvation it is always out there that your sins are forgiven, and your past is gone...you are a new creation:

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!!

But, what about the rest of your past life. As I said, the sins are forgiven, the "bad past" is gone, but what about people who choose to live in the good past...where not a day goes by without something coming up. Do any of these scriptures tell us to forget and put off things of the past, good or bad? I think it is hard to forget all the past, but what about dwelling on the past.

Like, living in the moment of a great victory? Does that in any way hinder our walk, and what could be given to us? Like the scriptures I put above, Isaiah 43:18. Before we get to the part where it says Do not call to mind or ponder on things of the past, God is saying everything that He has done...He made a way through the mighty waters, He brought forth chariots etc... and then He goes on to say " NASB18"Do not call to mind the former things, Or ponder things of the past. 19"Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert." and He continues to say all the things that He is going to do, what we can look forward to.

So, is it correct then that if we are continuing to live in the past, or dwell on the things of our past, good or bad, then we will not see the great works that can come?

Anyhow, my random post for the day...I would love some input on this topic!!

The one where I feel like I am crazy...

So, one day last week, I was heading out in the van for something. I have no idea what or where I was going, but I couldn't leave until I finished listening to a song on the radio. I had it set to the local christian station and there was an amazing song on. I know I heard it, I remember a few of the words...I wrote down what I thought was the name of the song and who sang it...or at least what I heard on the radio after the song...I guessed at the title though, from the chorus...

So, here is the odd part. The band that I wrote down, that I had never heard of before, was the David Crowder Band. I have that part, no problem. The song, I guessed would be called "Still with me". It was amazing, it totally spoke to me...

I can't find it anywhere. I am not sure if I am slightly insane, but those 3 words have continued to roll through my head. It has been over a week now and those words are still there. They just keep repeating and repeating and repeating...

I am now wondering if there is actually a song out there, or if I heard what I needed to hear at that very moment and it was a song that only played on my radio...

Please help me find out if there is a real song like that or not. In the meantime, this is what those voices in my head keep saying...

You're still with me
Why can't I see
All the times
I feel lonely
Through all my struggles
All my trials
Continually
You're still with me

Voices in heads I think are ok? Please tell me they are ok?;-)

A response to a comment...

I just read a comment that was posted on my last posting and I am really taken back by it. I would love to know who it was so I could reply privately, because my intention here has never been to offend anyone, if I have then I apologize, but I have read and re-read my post and I don't see where I said anything wrong...

Just because your child has a label does not make you a bad mom.

I had not once said anywhere in my post that it would make me a bad mom if I had the dr fill out the from with the words permanently tube fed...

It is unfortunate that our society requires labels to provide help for them but denying your child help because you refuse a label what about that.

I agree that it is drastically unfotunate that our world requires labels, but I can understand why we need them...it is so that services don't get taken advantage of...by not applying for the funding, I was not denying any services to my child. It just meant that we would be required to cover the cost of those items...which we would obviously have NEVER denied...

I have 2 children with labels and they would not be making the progress they are today without the help we receive.

Actually my son is going through some well needed testing right now. For him it is the right thing, because he will get the much needed help that we have been waiting for. We have considered it a huge blessing because this is testing that we would not have been able to afford. He will be labelled after tomorrow and that is fine because it is needed.

Each child is special and unique and I don't think God views me differently because my child has a label.

Actually, I believe that I said that as well.."Our worker also asked about a certain other funding that we had applied for, and I told her basically the same thing. In order to get that funding I need a dr's note explaining that Faith is "disabled". I just don't want to go there. I think that labelling kids is wrong, everyone is different and just because of that it doesn't mean that we are not "able"..." I also never said once, in my post that God viewed me differently because of the decision that I made...or that God would view you differently because of your choice...

One doctor told me he likes the word "differently" instead of "disability" These kids are just as "able" they just do things differently or in a different time frame then other children.Just my two cents!

I agree with you as well, and your dr. I consider that my son "learns differently" and we are finding out the best way for him...If you look at what I copied from my post above, you would see that I said almost the same thing.

I was, in no way, saying that labelling is wrong.

With Faith, it is extremely different. If you have followed our ordeal, you would fully understand. We were told that she would not live, if she did she would have CP, be mentally retarded (dr's words) blind, deaf, and have seizures.

Right now, she is an absolutely normal baby. At her last appt she was in the "normal" range for a 6th month old. This is where I had a hard time getting the "label". I really feel that there are so many other kids and families out there who need funding and help, and if I take it for my "normal" child, that would be wrong, when we can have it covered elsewhere then the government. That way, funding is available to those who need it.

Faith is also already labelled. We have already received a significant amount of funding just because someone added letters...MFTD that stands for Medically Fragile/Technologically Dependant. Because of that we can pay people to come and look after her if necessary. That is way more then we will ever need, so I am thankful for that.

I don't want to confess over her that she is permanently tube fed. That would be her disability. I don't consider it an issue at all when she is, at this moment, taking over half her required milk orally and less than half through a machine. This is why I didn't want to say that about her.

This is also just how I feel, I see absolutely nothing wrong with anyone else and their decisions. This is something that I feel I have always portrayed...in person and on my "space" here. I cannot judge someone else for their parenting styles and choices, because I have not walked in their shoes. But the same comes back, no one has been in my shoes and they should not judge what I choose to do.

Faith has many serrvices already in place...we are booked solid with physio, occupational therapy, speech and language pathology, nursing, dieticians, regular dr visits, hearing testing every 2 months, vision testing every 3 months...

I in no way want to hold her back from anything that is available to her, but I don't want to take funding away, if it is not necessary, and find out that someone else is not getting what they need...like my son, who was chosen to be one of the 3 in his school of 300 for this testing...

I am sorry if my post came off like that I was just excited to see God working that way in our lives and how everything fell into place for us, as we believed it would. And like I said in that last post, what you speak and how you speak really affects everyone around you and I just wanted to share what can happen.

Welcome to Holland...

I had a friend send me this email a while back. It really meant a lot to read it, and I am becoming more and more aware that I am now in "Holland", I am learning to enjoy this journey and learning to not be so upset about not being in "Italy"...

Welcome to Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability----to try to help people who have not shared the unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this....

When you are going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip---to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!" you say. "what do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy. I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I dreamed of going to Italy!"

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would of never met.

It's just a different place. It's slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you have been there for awhile and you catch your breath and you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills... and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they are all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever, go away.... because the loss of that dream is very, very significant loss.

But .... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to go to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things..... about Holland.

by Emily Perl Kingsley