Happy Holidays?

All the status updates on Facebook lately seem to revolve around the "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays"...

Heard on the Radio Tonight...

This is a rant.  Do not read on if you can't handle hearing someone elses opinion.

I heard something on the radio tonight that really disturbed me...

I always have the local christian station on and I listen to whatever is on it, whether it is music, a teaching show or a kids show.  I just like the station and how it can fill me up all the time (I spend a lot of time in the van;-)

So, it was a show about health and healthy living.  I am not living the most healthy life, but I am taking baby steps to change my life for the better.  I am getting there and I am sticking to the little goals that I have been setting, and have been setting new goals when I feel comfortable with reaching a previous one. 

It will be a lifelong journey for me and I know it, I am in it for the long haul. 

I also know that as Christians, we don't all believe the same things.  I know that there are differences between everyone and that is fine.  Some issues just are not heaven or hell things and we can overlook some of them and just learn to love each other.

What I heard tonight really hit me as offensive.  Ridiculously offensive.  I am not one to take offence or get upset too easily, but the way it just slid off the tongue of this speaker just really hit me as "condescendingly offensive".

The first thing that was talked about was how if your bones in your body aren't aligned properly, then God can't flow through you properly (promoting chiropractic care).  And I am here wondering how on earth having my bones aligned properly will allow God to flow better????

I don't see a chiropractor, I would assume that if I did I would be told that there were issues with my spine.  Does that mean that God cannot flow through me? 

How about the person who has cerebral palsy, their limbs may be bent a bit out of line.  Does that mean that God cannot flow through them?

What is this teaching us? All the listeners? I understand that this speaker is selling his "practice" on this show, but how much more disrespectful can someone be? 

Last I checked, God does not physically flow through my body.  He is in my heart and He flows through me in a spiritual way.  I know that God is present in my life.  I know that God is flowing through people who have some form of disability that may affect there spinal line.  I have met these people and I know that this is true.  God does not need you to have straight bones in order to flow through you...

I really hope that people are not believing this crap.

Then, a few minutes later, the speaker was talking about seeing medical doctors...or rather, the idea that if you are living a healthy lifestyle you should not have to see a medical doctor. 

He then said that doctors are a second rate version of God.  That only God can heal people, because He did create people after all. 

I do believe that it is God who heals us.  HOWEVER...the doctors who worked to save my daughters life, the doctors who deliver babies, the doctors who work in the ER...are NOT second rate versions of God.

They are men and women who have an amazing gift and talent that God has built into them.  They are men and women who have decided to use their talents and gifts to make peoples lives better.

They are the people who kept my daughter alive.  God did his job, through the doctors hands.  Everytime we prayed for Faith, and even now when we pray for anyone going for surgery, one of the things we pray is that God direct the hands of the doctors. 

It was not a second rate version of God who saved Faiths life.  It was God working with man to prove that He knows what he is doing. 

The speaker also continued to say that we can make our own decisions about medical doctors, but since he lives such a healthy lifestyle he will never get cancer or even just a small sickness.  And the last time I checked, sickness didn't play favourites to only those who were unhealthy.  I have heard many stories about people who have chosen healthy lifestyles still becoming quite sick. 

We live in a fallen world...bad things happen, and it sucks.

I just really was put off by this speaker and how it was like he was just weaseling and snaking his way through a persons conscience and guilt in order to gain new patients...and I feel bad for people who are not strong enough to see through this and choose this doctor for the simple reason that they say they were on a "Christian" radio station. 

Rant complete...

Disclaimer: If you read this and think that I am pointing you out...you are free to feel that way.  I wrote this post to deal with how I was feeling and I have every right to say what I want.  I am the owner of this space and that is that.

Kill 'em with kindness, right?

This has been my mantra.

Since we have moved into our new house, almost 3 years ago, we realized that we will never be considered "mainstream neighbours". Our yard is never perfect, our kids are always fighting, our dog barks and runs away and we may have some stuff on our porch.

We could be compared to rednecks, and would probably fit in well in the community (to a point;-)

During the first year that we lived here, there was slight issue with one of the neigbours boys and a few kids that were at my house (my own and others). I brought it to the attention of the parent next door, not dropping full blame on her kid, but saying it was a mutual blame, but I thought she should know the situation.

It made me uncomfortable to do that, seeing as we moved in next to who we thought were friends from previous years, and Christians to boot. Win win in our eyes.

Ever since I confronted her, all we have received is retaliation and cowardly behaviour!! Their one son kind of creeps us out...to the point where we will call the police if it continues. Who, in a normal state of mind, walks up and down a sidewalk glaring into the window of their neighbour?

Intimidating.

The parents are no better...who sits on their porch and watches as the neighbour kids (my kids) mow the lawn with a dull manual mower...and then tell them that it is dangerous...when we have given them permission to use the mower (because it was not dangerous for them).

Not only that, but the parents took turns sitting on the porch staring at my kids...like I said, not normal and kinda becoming creepy!! Talk about socially inept people!!

2 weeks ago we hired a "handyman/gardener" of sorts. We knew that we had very little time to deal with our yard and it was becoming an eyesore...we knew that. We paid this man to cut our lawn and clean it up...

2 weeks ago he cut the lawn. He made arrangements to come back this past Friday and finish up the gardens and the driveway weeds.

On this past Friday we received a by-law notice that our grass was too high as were our weeds. I know for a fact that our grass was not over 8 inches and yes I knew that our weeds were too high, hence the gardener.

If our neighbours were not such cowards, and had actually spoken to us, they would have been aware that it was being taken care of and the city would not have to be involved - what a waste of our tax dollars!!

Anyhow, between yesterday and today, our gardener got the yard looking amazing!! He really has an eye for landscaping and we are glad to have him. He is even willing to build that garden around the fence and also to rip up everything around the pool to start it all fresh!!

There were a few comments made by the neighbours next door...that are just laughed off as them being socially inept and then this one person made a comment to Mr. H and it really set me off when I was told about it...

I got home from the market and I was told that the neighbour across the street, the ones that we have made meals for when he had a stroke, they gave Mr. H little jobs, we have always been very nice with, apparently said to my son "I don't mean to be rude, but your dad is lazy"...

Umm...seriously? I think I have the hardest working husband in the history of the world!! We have been married for 15 years and I have never had to hold a job and we have never been on welfare (except 3 months following our move to Ontario). Pete has held down 3 and 4 jobs at a time to support us and for me to be a stay at home mom, and a homeschool mom.

Not only does he work, he does housework, he cooks and he does laundry. He loves to work on the pool and loves to keep the vehicles in good condition...he doesn't have the skill or desire to do yard work. And he can admit that!! Mr. H generally does all that stuff, because he enjoys that kind of work and he usually earns some spending money when doing things outside the basic runnings of our house.

I went across the street and told him that he was wrong to speak to my son that way. An adult should never tell a child that their parent is lazy...that is just uncalled for in my books. My children respect us as parents and then someone steps in to try to undermine that relationship? Don't mess with me!!

I told this 70/80 year old man that he was rude and disrespectful and that my husband is anything but lazy. Pete works 10-12 hours a day driving and throwing garbage, then he comes home and some nights I am at work which means he is the only one home to deal with the kids, supper, clean up and bedtimes...and he doesn't consider it babysitting.

Then he also helps out at the church in various ways, he helped with the community centre this year delivering their flyers (volunteered his time) and he drives his kids to various activities they are a part of. We have 5 kids...5.

This man then proceeded to say that he "calls it as he sees it" and if he could work 14-16 hour days and still come home and mow the lawn...and Pete can't, then he is lazy.

That is when I lost it. That is when I said that lazy is a person who is on welfare when they are capable of working. That is when I called him an ignorant old man. That is when I told him that he should be apologizing for being rude and for speaking like that to my son, a child. That is when I felt my blood boil and I knew I had to leave there.

He said that if Pete was upset why hadn't he come over to talk to him...I said that Pete respected him more then I did...then he said that if Pete and Mr. H went over there, he would apologize to them.

So, I sent Pete and Mr. H over for their well deserved apology. The gentleman (the rude man) says "I am sorry for saying you are lazy, but I call it as I see it"...um, you call that an apology???

He continued to call Pete lazy, to his face...because Pete wasn't the one doing the yard work...we had hired a gardener remember? And Pete is lazy because someone else was cleaning up his yard!! How many people have a house cleaner? A paid snow shoveller? A paid mower? If that is you, then you are lazy!!

He commented that Pete was lazy because he always has his hands in his pocket or a coffee in his hand...and Mr. H is a hard worker because his hands weren't in his pockets...that is when Mr. H put his hands IN his pocket. He also said that he was not the only one on the street to think Pete was lazy...I plan to ask the surrounding neighbours as I see them in the next few days if they think my husband is lazy...I want the other neighbours to know that he is speaking for them...plus I can clear it up once and for all, that Pete is not what they think...

I think that if this man worked 14-16 hour days, and apparently was active in raising his 2 (yes, only 2) children, then he obviously didn't have time to sleep properly and that has led to his obvious medical conditions (strokes and heart attacks).

If my husband is lazy because he takes time to rest, and he pays someone to deal with an area that he is not strong in, then I am glad I have a lazy husband. He is going to live a long, healthy life and will be able to enjoy his senior years...

Oh, and the next time the neighbour wants to pay Mr. H for shovelling the snow, or cleaning out their eavestroughs...I will kindly decline saying that my son does not want to contribute to the laziness of others...

Kill them with kindness? I think I am done with that now...and if I hear the "I call it as I see it" phrase again, I will respond with - "You need your eyes checked again then, cause your sight is a bit blurry" (Thanks C for that one!!)

My kids have the worlds hardest working daddy...and we are blessed with him in our lives!!

Emotions...Sometimes Suck!!

I know I have said it before. Sometimes I wonder what I was thinking when I went back to school. It has been an adjustment that I don't think I was fully prepared for. Now that I am here, I am doing fine, I am enjoying it, but I am really looking forward to March break.

We have been in the nursing home placement since the beginning of January. In the beginning all was good. As we were there longer and longer, I started seeing the other sides of working in a nursing home setting.

I was on one floor for about 7 weeks and I really loved that floor. I knew the residents and the schedules and routines. I felt like one of the employees...just without the money. Then I was moved onto the dementia unit. What a change!!

I knew it would be different, I knew it would be harder, and more dangerous (to some extent), but I wasn't prepared for the emotional rollercoaster that I would experience there. It is hard to imagine some situations as being funny, sad and frustrating all at the same time. But that is what every evening was like.

Some residents just constantly ask when their family is coming. They don't sleep, because they don't want to miss them. Some residents talk about killing themselves, and you - if you are there at that moment. They tell you that they hate you, but you can see in their eyes that they don't have any understanding of what they are doing. Some residents are violent. They lash out at you for no apparent reasons, or if you have to do something and they don't understand why you are doing this to them. I was grabbed on my shoulder and whipped around because a resident didn't like something I did. It is a scary place to work, but it has also been so rewarding. If they can even go together...

I felt so good when I was able to help a difficult resident do something, like brush their teeth, or have them take out their dentures (which can be a hard thing to do, most don't like giving them up!!). Or when I was able to have residents smile at me, and I got them laughing. Just paying attention to some of them was all they needed. I was able to deal with a resident who had been aggressive one night then the next time I dealt with him, he listened as I explained what we were doing and there was no aggression.

I have grown. I have seen things I never expected to see. I have cried. I have laughed. I have learned to foresee situations before they happen. And I have learned that a hug can go a long way, in any language!!

I have also learned that I gained more out of this experience then I ever thought I would. The unconditional trust is the biggest thing. These residents just trust you. Good and bad...

The other night I seriously felt like I was having a breakdown. This isn't something that I am sharing here to get pity, or sympathy. I am over it, this time, although I know that those days will come again...

My memory has disappeared, my life is too hectic and I felt like there were so many things on my shoulders. I decided that I needed to cut some things out of my life and my daily routine. I need to focus on the important things, which may seem selfish to some...but they are myself and my family. That is really all that matters. Right now school is up there too.

I haven't had a job outside the home for 15 years. This was my first experience back in the workforce. I am glad that I have learned to be a duck (water beads off the back). Nothing really sticks to me, and I am kind of a neutral person. I really try not to get involved in drama (work or anywhere). I try not to shoulder all the issues that people have. I try not to let those situations win out...it is hard though.

I think that I would like a job where I am working with a small group of people, not a large number. It would even be nice (in my idealistic world) that we all get along...and the high school drama just goes away, but that is just me dreaming. I am going to have to just work and continue stepping away from these situations.

Oh the joys of becoming a working outside the home mom....what was I thinking???

Mixed Feelings...

I really am not sure about blogging anymore...I just don't seem to have it in me to do at this moment...which is odd.

We had some great news from the hospitals growth and development clinic we went to last week with Faith. We were told that she is within the normal 6 month old range in her development. I asked them about what we had been told in the beginning...with the brain damage. The neurologist told us that we wouldn't see the damage until she was between 1 and 1.5 years. So, I asked the dr on Thursday if we still have that to look forward to, and we were told NO!!! We would have seen the signs already if there was going to be some physical disability!!

We were told that she would not be apro athlete, she may be clumsy, but she will run, she will walk, she will talk...she will go to school!! That was really exciting to hear... We also have scheduled an appointment to get a mickey button put in, so we will have no more scares with the tube!!

However...

I am really happy, don't get me wrong...I have debated about posting this or not...here goes...

I am really angry...I don't know if this is 6 months worth of frustration that is finally coming out? or if I am just realizing what we went through...and it is just sinking in...

We were told to "kill" our baby...sorry, "let her declare for herself"...this was from the ethics team...we were not told this once, not twice, but so many times that I cannot even remember... I am so angry that they gave us no hope...I am so angry that they put us through hell and back with the "possibilities". They told us that her brain damage was severe, she was going to 100% have something wrong from the damage. They made us think that a feeding tube was the worst possible thing to come home with...that it would hinder her life and the quality of it...

I know that she is a huge miracle, she is a testament to our faith and everyone who stood by us. She has and definitely will continue to change people...show them what hope and faith can lead to in the end. Everywhere we go, they comment on how beautiful she is that she has the most gorgeous eyes... I am her mom and I am biased, and I know that...

But, I cannot imagine what our life would have been like if we had made the decision that they thought was "ethical". I can't imagine the sorrow and grief we would have unnecessarily gone through. I hate to think about the parents who are in that room at the end of the hall, who are being put in the same position as us, and may not be strong enough to stand up to the "team". I wish that I could go and sit by the doorways and just tell everyone, that with hope things are fine...

Blah, I don't know why I am feeling like this...I am trying to find the ethics lady's name so that I can send an email to the committee and let them know how our situation was handled...and how they need to change their approach. But then, I feel like I shouldn't do that either...that it is just going to be stirring a pot...that is better left untouched...what a day...what a week, what an ordeal that I am realizing I am not quite done with yet...

All is well on the homefront!

Yup, things are still going here. Everyone is doing well and we are getting into our daily grind again. I am tired of the snow, but really, who isn't? I can't wait until spring...

My 6 year old, Cutie Pie, must have a heart for the nations. I told her that she was going to be going on a trip this weekend to Quebec. We don't usually tell our kids until very close to the date, but since this is a big trip for her, we told her much earlier. She woke up every morning, for the past week and has asked when she was leaving for Mexico...

She has also asked some interesting questions lately, today's question was...when we die do we still go to the bathroom...she is such a deep thinker!! And she was also asking about our bodies turning to dirt...and will it hurt her eyes??

I am also a bit perturbed with the big plastics controvery going on...you know BPA in the bottles and formulas and stuff...I think when people hear something some tend to just run with it and start to freak everyone else out...it is interesting when you have a whole different perspective on life and I look at my situation where Faith has no choice but to have a plastic tube inserted in her tummy, she has to be fed by a plastic feeding bag and machine, I make her formula and keep it in bottles (it is a nice way to measure the formula) and she is using liquid formula...because the hospital told us that powder was not a good choice...granted I could pump if I could find time every 3 hours to keep up with her...but the point is, when people have a choice it is different, do your research and find out the benefits and the risks...what is bigger. I know for us, the benefits obviously far outweigh the risks and we are thrilled at technology...anyhow, there is my rant for the day...

Faith is crying so I gotta run...by the way, if anyone has used cloth diapers and covers with them, which covers have you liked best? I was thinking of going the route of knitted soakers, but was not sure if they work well or not...please I need advice!!

Ok, I'm calm now...

First of all, I apologize for that post yesterday...I couldn't type anymore, because it wouldn't have made any sense, and I didn't want to spew all over my friends...

We had a great weekend. If anyone needs a good b&b recommendation, we definitely have the place for you!! Midland is also such a beautiful place, we were awed at the beauty there and kicked ourselves for forgetting the camera...

If I had a camera, there were 2 shots that I would have taken for sure and posted here, one being the red sunset over the harbour, with all the yachts lined up...and the second would have been of Georgian Bay. We took a wrong turn on the way home, and I am so happy that we did.

I have never seen anything more beautiful. There was a gorgeous sandy beach, with the water lapping at the shore. In the middle of the bay was one big line of ice, that hasn't melted. Then behind the ice was open water again, and then it ended with the big hills (no mountains here) that were capped in snow still. It was one of the most beautiful things we had ever seen.

The people who hosted the B&B were so hospitable and welcoming, we didn't feel out of place or anything. Breakfast was awesome, such a different array of meals. On Sunday, we had an Australian treat called mousetraps. It was just delicious, I am getting the recipe and going to try to make it here.

Now that I have mentioned the weekend, we got home and my allergies are so bad. I can't take anything for it right now, which sucks, cause it means that I just have to suffer. So, I have been dozing on and off all day yesterday. When I finally woke up and started getting supper ready, Mr. Hockey handed me the mail. There was a letter from our regional office.

Back up the story here a bit. On Wednesday, I noticed 2 people, dressed in city uniforms, walking around my property with a camera. They were taking pictures and were right in the backyard and everything. I didn't feel comfortable confronting them, so I just stayed inside. I saw one of my neighbours outside talking with them afterwards and wondered if she knew, but I couldn't just ask...I am really not nosy like that.

Anyhow, Friday was garbage day and we have slowly been going through the crap in our yard. You know, after the winter and the snow is gone, and you find all those wonderful treasures on the ground? Where our house is situated we also get a lot of the neighbourhood junk, up and on our property too. We have been working through it. First we started with the porch and got that cleaned and it has been good for about a month or so...my friends who have been here know it...the driveway was another story, but on that Thursday night we were going to work on the driveway and get the cardboard folded, the garbage in the pails, and the bigger junk out. And we did. Our driveway is clean...

So, yesterday we got this letter, it basically said that if we don't clean up our property, then our taxes are going to be raised and we have until May 4 to do it. I hate making excuses, but where we have just been, in our lives...hubby is working 13-14 hour days, I am homeschooling the kids and dealing with Pooky, I have just finished the first trimester of my pregnancy...in which I have barely been able to stay awake, let alone have the energy to do anything, the snow has just gone for good and we have been working through the place.

What I don't understand is why someone would complain about a utility trailer on our driveway...it is there as a help to give us somewhere to put all the large junk and big things that don't fit in the pail. Every week, we have been discarding a bit at a time, so not to overwhelm the garbage men...we have a new appreciation for them, but I now have to have that out of the way too...also, no one is in my backyard...why is it anyones business what it looks like? We can't even really see our neighbours yards, because of plants and fences and stuff...so why should that matter at all.

What I am most frustrated about is that no one approached us first, and asked us to do this first. I would think that in the place we live, most people would have had no problem doing that first, it is considerate and a nicer way to deal with it first. No one has ever complained about our place before, because they know that it always gets cleaned up...it never stays this way.

Anyhow, I was just so frustrated last night, I went out and did it all, it is done and hubby yelled at me for moving certain things, but what do I do? My blood was boiling and I was so angry at this happening, that I had to do something, so out in the rain I went and the trailer is going to be dumped on the lawn for garbage day this week, too bad for our garbage guys...it is either that or deal with getting it to the dump and paying for it to be gone...which I am not going to do.

We have big plans for our yard, I was wanting to re-sod the front and raise the garden in the front and back, to give it a more crisp look, to add to the curb appeal, if someone had just asked us what was up and why weren't we cleaning it, they would have known the plans that we had and that it was actually going to get done...

Oh, well, I really am ready to move, I have been for a while...

Rant...

I hate where I live...it's time to move...